Nick and I pondering the universe... of BEER!

This year’s Holiday Ale Fest was special in many ways. Beer and friends all under one big tent. However, the most special thing of all the special things about this years Ale Fest was that I just happen to work 50 feet and 8 stories away from it. It was hard to say, “Eh, maybe next year.” when I had to navigate the line just to get to my bus every night.

So this year I made it down for a couple nights of beer and well, more beer. I was glad to see most of my favorites, there were only a couple breweries I didn’t recognize and a little disappointed not to see some that were new to me. I was also glad to have my trusty 33 Beers Journal with me. This handy dandy little booklet makes reviewing anywhere easy as a pils no matter how many you’ve had. The flavor wheel™ both enlightened my reviewing skills and helped me remember the sort of sensations rolling through my mouth, even in the middle of a crowd of fellow beer lovers.

Over two nights I used my $20 worth of tickets (10 to be exact) wisely. I was able to purchase two mugs and about 3 tasters. Here’s the secret: bring friends. In addition to my own beer, I tasted several friend’s beers. I mean, I know it’s swine flu season and all, but I think it’s worth it. After all, it’s alcohol right? Kills swine flu dead. With a little help from my friends, I turned 10 tickets into about 20. I think I made a couple new friends too.

In all I was able to sample 6 beers. I think I had more than that but I only wrote down 6 so that is what I will write about. I’ve got 27 more pages to fill up in my journal but that will have to wait until next time.

Here is the roundup:

Hair of the Dog – Jim 2009 (4 stars/5 mugs)
I heard there was a 2007 tapped earlier in the fest but I couldn’t care less. Smooth, full-bodied, with hoppy, malty undertones and something salty and yeasty in the finish.

Hopworks – Kronan the Barbarian (3 stars/4 mugs)
Although I enjoyed the hoppy, spice-laden body I didn’t feel this brew was anywhere near barbaric. I love Hopworks but this one only made me wish I had a Crosstown Pale or organic IPA in my glass (er… plastic mug).

Upright Brewing – Holy Herb (0 stars/-0 mugs)

Holy Herbs Batman! I usually steer clear of flavored brews because of results like this. Someone says to themselves, “I’m going to make a [insert flavor here] beer!” Then they set about concocting their flavor and getting it just right and somewhere along the line they stop making [blank] flavored beer and start making beer flavored [blank].

Of course, Holy Herb sits on a level all on it’s own for being incredibly blech-face inducing, as you can see in the photo. The flavor wheel for this one had a bias toward bitter, astringent , and sour. Words like gnarly, tainted, and Xtreme were jotted hastily between gasps.

Luckily, this was a friend’s beer so I didn’t have to endure much of it.

Alameda Brewing – Papa Noel (2 stars/1 mugs)
Love Alameda brews. However, I can’t say much for this one. It seemed totally dead. It was like it didn’t show up.

15th Street Brewing (I think) – Oak St. Nick (2 stars/1 mug)
Fruity and sweet with a floral texture. I can’t say I loved this one but it did well with what it had. It wasn’t my kind of beer but I can see someone, somewhere, liking it.

Deschutes Brewery – Lost Barrels of Mirror Mirror (5 stars/6 mugs )
This one from my one of my favorite breweries, was my first beer at the fest and my favorite. I went back at the end of the second night and had another. That is saying a lot considering I hadn’t even hit the Ninkasi (another fave). Oaky and bourbony, it was full-bodied and full of spicy textures. It was like someone took “woo hoo!” and put it in a keg. It was strong but smooth, a joy from the first sip to the last.

I am constantly reminded of how lucky we are to live in a city with this much brewing talent. At this year’s Holiday Ale Fest, it definitely showed up. My only regret is that I didn’t get to try more! Next time I’m going to get more tasters and reserve the full mugs for my favorites.

I was not in the mood for a whole six pack and although $4.79 or something a bottle made me think twice, I also thought, “this is going to be some NICE beer!” As I poured the beer in to my pilsner glass (I thought it would be fitting) I was sure my thinking was right. The beer was dark with a beautiful head. I mean, gorgeous. My mouth watered in anticipation.

But before I talk about the first sip, let’s talk about Hair of the Dog. Their reputation precedes them. This is real beer-o-phile beer. The first, called Fred, piqued my interest with the name alone. Fred Eckhard, famed beer reviewer and historian had recently passed away and although I had never heard of the man, I quickly became a fan albeit posthumously. The label on the beer paid tribute to Mr. Eckhardt, sighting him as one of the inspirations for getting in to the beer biz. Cool.

Cool, that is until the first sip. Jesus. Satan? My face contorted and I forced it down. My wife gave me a sideways glance. Typical burnt-chocolaty taste, but this time followed by a finish laced with the distinct flavor or vomit. Yes. Vomit. Not kinda vomit, or vomit-like, or faintly reminiscent of vomit. V-O-M-I-T. If this is a tribute, I’d hate to see what they do for people they hate. Fred Eckhardt is spinning in his grave. Or maybe not. Maybe its me.

I soldiered on. I was determined to enjoy this beer and count myself among the true beer lovers. I screwed up my face and worked through the rest of the pilsner glass. Worked through it like hard labor or passing a kidney stone. Again, sidelong glances from the wife asking, “why?”

On to the second glass. Surely the second glass will be better. This one, Adam (not sure which departed soul this one is meant to offend), offered the same thick brown head and chocolaty aroma. It also unfortunately included the same bitter-vomit taste. I was able to withstand about half the glass. Withstand is the key word here.

So, maybe I should turn in my gun & badge or login credentials or whatever. Maybe Fred Eckhardt would give me a good brow-beating for dogging (pun intended) on his namesake. Maybe. But until Mr. Eckhardt comes down from heaven and tells slaps me on the head, I’m sticking to my guns.

This beers sucks. If this is how we honor our fallen beer lovers then I’m thinking we need to stick to simple burials. The next time I spend $4.79 on a beer it better either be good or accompanied by some good house music.