But college is over. I’m old. My liver is particular, and I only drink those beers to reminisce what alcohol tasted like when I could eat 10 taco bell tacos in one sitting.

Now, however, I can get my reminiscing done with a $4 bottle of local craft brew. Cause by golly if this didn’t taste EXACTLY like cheap Mexican beer. The first words out of my wife’s mouth were “where’s my lime?”. Admittedly, I’ve never had a Kolsch in Germany. But unless the 20 or so other versions of the style I’ve had were doing it wrong, someone from south of the border snuck in wearing Lederhosen and swapped out the recipes. Surly bartender and citrus fruit not included. ¡No me gusta!

One, it was a more accurate depiction of the style. It’s an IPA…only roastier.

Second, I was much less tempted to spend $4 on a bottle.

I like IPAs to a certain degree. Bridgeport’s IPA is a fridge staple after all. But still, I tend to shy away from buying them (especially in 22oz form), since I still fee like they are just some insane experiment of how much mouth abuse a person can take and still pretend they like something. Which is how I feel about Hopworks Secession Black IPA … er … Cascadian Dark Ale. I applaud the local flare and use of organics. Unfortunately, in the end, the IBU’s are too high, rendering any other flavor hard to enjoy. Thumbs down.

Great Divide Claymore Scotch Ale (3/6)
Poor Claymore. This isn’t a bad beer per se, its just that there are so many better Scotch Ale’s out there. The flavor was vaguely malty, but other than that just kind of not present. Perhaps I’ve had one too many brain bashing Wee Heavys to truly appreciate this. But I still love them for trying. After all “If it’s not Scottish, its cr*p!”

Silver Moon Snake Bite Porter (3/6)
This is the first beer I’ve had from Silver Moon, and I hope to try more. Hopefully their other showings will be more impressive. I love porters. And this was a decent porter. Not awesome, not bad. But, it sort of falls into the camp of “identity crisis” porters that taste too much like stouts. Its got a strong hickory flavor as well if you are into that sort of thing.

Hopworks Gigabit IPA (4/6)
The great thing about this beer, is that even though I don’t even like IPAs, this stuff was great. Citrus-y, light, with a mellow hop aftertaste that appeals to those of us who avoid cheek smash. For those of you not in the know, this beer was brewed as part of a contest Google is putting on to give one city in America free fiber optic internet. So Google…we better win, or I’m switching back to Yahoo.

Nick and I pondering the universe... of BEER!

This year’s Holiday Ale Fest was special in many ways. Beer and friends all under one big tent. However, the most special thing of all the special things about this years Ale Fest was that I just happen to work 50 feet and 8 stories away from it. It was hard to say, “Eh, maybe next year.” when I had to navigate the line just to get to my bus every night.

So this year I made it down for a couple nights of beer and well, more beer. I was glad to see most of my favorites, there were only a couple breweries I didn’t recognize and a little disappointed not to see some that were new to me. I was also glad to have my trusty 33 Beers Journal with me. This handy dandy little booklet makes reviewing anywhere easy as a pils no matter how many you’ve had. The flavor wheel™ both enlightened my reviewing skills and helped me remember the sort of sensations rolling through my mouth, even in the middle of a crowd of fellow beer lovers.

Over two nights I used my $20 worth of tickets (10 to be exact) wisely. I was able to purchase two mugs and about 3 tasters. Here’s the secret: bring friends. In addition to my own beer, I tasted several friend’s beers. I mean, I know it’s swine flu season and all, but I think it’s worth it. After all, it’s alcohol right? Kills swine flu dead. With a little help from my friends, I turned 10 tickets into about 20. I think I made a couple new friends too.

In all I was able to sample 6 beers. I think I had more than that but I only wrote down 6 so that is what I will write about. I’ve got 27 more pages to fill up in my journal but that will have to wait until next time.

Here is the roundup:

Hair of the Dog – Jim 2009 (4 stars/5 mugs)
I heard there was a 2007 tapped earlier in the fest but I couldn’t care less. Smooth, full-bodied, with hoppy, malty undertones and something salty and yeasty in the finish.

Hopworks – Kronan the Barbarian (3 stars/4 mugs)
Although I enjoyed the hoppy, spice-laden body I didn’t feel this brew was anywhere near barbaric. I love Hopworks but this one only made me wish I had a Crosstown Pale or organic IPA in my glass (er… plastic mug).

Upright Brewing – Holy Herb (0 stars/-0 mugs)

Holy Herbs Batman! I usually steer clear of flavored brews because of results like this. Someone says to themselves, “I’m going to make a [insert flavor here] beer!” Then they set about concocting their flavor and getting it just right and somewhere along the line they stop making [blank] flavored beer and start making beer flavored [blank].

Of course, Holy Herb sits on a level all on it’s own for being incredibly blech-face inducing, as you can see in the photo. The flavor wheel for this one had a bias toward bitter, astringent , and sour. Words like gnarly, tainted, and Xtreme were jotted hastily between gasps.

Luckily, this was a friend’s beer so I didn’t have to endure much of it.

Alameda Brewing – Papa Noel (2 stars/1 mugs)
Love Alameda brews. However, I can’t say much for this one. It seemed totally dead. It was like it didn’t show up.

15th Street Brewing (I think) – Oak St. Nick (2 stars/1 mug)
Fruity and sweet with a floral texture. I can’t say I loved this one but it did well with what it had. It wasn’t my kind of beer but I can see someone, somewhere, liking it.

Deschutes Brewery – Lost Barrels of Mirror Mirror (5 stars/6 mugs )
This one from my one of my favorite breweries, was my first beer at the fest and my favorite. I went back at the end of the second night and had another. That is saying a lot considering I hadn’t even hit the Ninkasi (another fave). Oaky and bourbony, it was full-bodied and full of spicy textures. It was like someone took “woo hoo!” and put it in a keg. It was strong but smooth, a joy from the first sip to the last.

I am constantly reminded of how lucky we are to live in a city with this much brewing talent. At this year’s Holiday Ale Fest, it definitely showed up. My only regret is that I didn’t get to try more! Next time I’m going to get more tasters and reserve the full mugs for my favorites.

By all accounts, I would consider HUB’s Crosstown Pale a good beer. It’s not cheek smashy, not bitter, not burnt, not watery. In other words, nothing like Widmer beer. It’s only flaw really was that it was just too hoppy for my tastes. Slightly less hops, and this would have been a superstar. I drank the whole thing, but I really don’t think I would ever buy it again.

On the bright side, since it’s made locally, it’s an organic beer. That way, the hops that turn me away weren’t also pesticiding my insides.