Frosty Goodness » Sorry don’t remember that

Simpler Times Beer — for when men were men, women were women, and beer was room-temperature

Walt Liquor — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 23:45:15 +0000

For Halloween this year at the office, a few of us got together and did the old Saturday Night Live skit “Da Bears”, except for “Da Chargers”. You remember, the big fat stereotypical Chicago bears fans with mustaches and oversize sunglasses. This gave us the great excuse to drink beer out of giant mugs during work hours. One of my fellow Chargers Superfans brought in “Simpler Times Beer”, a canned brew from Trader Joe’s that probably fit the bill of being 1) cheap, and 2) cheap. It’s purpose was primarily to be a prop in a costume rather than to be enjoyed for beer as such, and it served its purpose mightily. I can barely remember it having much of a taste at all, no mean feet considering we drank it lukewarm (as, of course, proper refrigeration took backseat to prepping the costumes). It literally went down with nary a comment, neither being good enough to say “hey, this ain’t bad”, nor being bad enough to even warrant jokes. To this moment I couldn’t tell you a distinguishing feature aside from the name, the central interest of which is guessing whether the nostalgic theme is intentional or some hip subtle ironicness that I’m now too old to get. So a thoroughly generic beer, devoid of any positives or negatives in any way.

By the way, the costumes went over pretty well, although I think we didn’t exactly pick an audience who would fully appreciate the humor. Here’s what it’s like working at a science-tech company — after all four of us come in wearing charger’s gear, pillows for guts, fake mustaches, aviator sunglasses, and hoisting beers, one of our coworkers asked, “did you guys coordinate this?” Next time, we’ve got to paint our jokes with somewhat broader strokes…

Lagunitas Censored Ale (aka The Kronic)

Frosty — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 02:55:01 +0000

This review is going to be short. Real short, because sadly, Lagunitas Censored Ale is one of those forgettable beers. It’s not awesome and not terrible. Ale-y with a slight hoppy kick, but not too obnoxious. I suppose I could try and say something funny about the fact they had to censor its original name, but much like the real Kronic, I’ve had too much and can’t feel my face….man these keys are so big…wow look at my hands!

My grass has never grown back. Bastards.

Downtown Brown — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 06:51:35 +0000

There has only been one other beer that has ever received “Never Again” status. That would be Blue Moon from Coors, and its really a Radiohead concert review post.

Now the normal Arrogant Bastard is around 8% of pure skull-crushing madness. Once you get past the intial tastebuds-into-oblivion stage, you can really enjoy the bitterness that is Stone Brewery. As long as you don’t eat the onion rings. The double bastard is around 10%, and seriously once you open the cap you can smell that a night of punishment is in order.

A friend of mine purchased the 3 litre (came with a freaking lock!) bottle of double bastard. He also purchased the patented “shoulda got 2 more” for after the 3 litre was gone. If you have read this far and care to do the math thats roughly 144 ounces of pain. Only youth could possibly come up with a stupider plan. By 11pm that night it was full on technicolor yawns with a permanent stain in my front lawn that refuses to grow. Not for the faint of heart or those who have to go to work for the next couple of weeks. Great for LAN parties, or for that special “no respect for my liver” moment. Check out Stone Brewery